As every wayward Catholic girl knows, sex and religion are inextricably tied. The religious among us enjoy sex as much as the heathens. Judaism in particular is enlightened in its belief that sex is for more than mere procreation; it is a joyful act of pleasure and companionship, a basic need to be fulfilled along with our need for food and water.
Although Jewish law unfortunately insists only married couples should engage in sex, it is otherwise quite reasonable and refreshingly female-focused for religious doctrine. I'm no rabbi, but there are several aspects of Jewish sexual doctrine that I believe we could all benefit from adhering to.
According to the Talmud, women have three basic rights: to have food, to have shelter, and to have S-E-X (perhaps not in that exact order). In fact, the rabbis of the Talmud established "laws of Onah" to insure that a woman's basic sexual rights are fulfilled. These laws are requirements that men must meet to fulfill their marriage contract or face divorce.
The great Maimonides aka Rabbi Moses ben Maimon (1135-1204): "A husband is forbidden to hold back from his wife her matrimonial rights for sexual relations."
Above: Maimonides, looking quite reasonable.
The Talmud isn't stingy with how often men must perform either: "The times for conjugal duty prescribed in the Torah are: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months. These are the rulings of R. Eliezer." [M. Ketubot 5:1]
(As if women needed another reason to never marry a camel driver.)
The Talmud also encourages foreplay:
"When your husband caresses you to arouse your desire for intercourse and holds the breasts with one hand and “that place” with the other give the breasts [at first] to increase his passion and do not give him the place of intercourse too soon until his passion increases and he is in pain with desire" [Rashi to Shabbat 140b].
(Although the above passage is addressed to women, many believe this is actually veiled instruction to men to prolong foreplay.)
Most enlightened is the Talmudic emphasis on the importance of female orgasm. The Talmud suggests that sons result from a woman orgasming first and daughters result from the man org-ing first. "If the woman emits her semen first she bears a male child; if the man emits his semen first she bears a female child." [Niddah 31a] It goes on to cite a rabbi by the name of Katina (3rd Century) who brags, "I could make all my children to be males."
Men should all strive to be more like Rabbi Katina.
To honor such men, I will be joining Golem this Saturday at Cameo for a special Hannukah show. I hope you can join us.
Although Jewish law unfortunately insists only married couples should engage in sex, it is otherwise quite reasonable and refreshingly female-focused for religious doctrine. I'm no rabbi, but there are several aspects of Jewish sexual doctrine that I believe we could all benefit from adhering to.
According to the Talmud, women have three basic rights: to have food, to have shelter, and to have S-E-X (perhaps not in that exact order). In fact, the rabbis of the Talmud established "laws of Onah" to insure that a woman's basic sexual rights are fulfilled. These laws are requirements that men must meet to fulfill their marriage contract or face divorce.
The great Maimonides aka Rabbi Moses ben Maimon (1135-1204): "A husband is forbidden to hold back from his wife her matrimonial rights for sexual relations."
Above: Maimonides, looking quite reasonable.
The Talmud isn't stingy with how often men must perform either: "The times for conjugal duty prescribed in the Torah are: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months. These are the rulings of R. Eliezer." [M. Ketubot 5:1]
(As if women needed another reason to never marry a camel driver.)
The Talmud also encourages foreplay:
"When your husband caresses you to arouse your desire for intercourse and holds the breasts with one hand and “that place” with the other give the breasts [at first] to increase his passion and do not give him the place of intercourse too soon until his passion increases and he is in pain with desire" [Rashi to Shabbat 140b].
(Although the above passage is addressed to women, many believe this is actually veiled instruction to men to prolong foreplay.)
Most enlightened is the Talmudic emphasis on the importance of female orgasm. The Talmud suggests that sons result from a woman orgasming first and daughters result from the man org-ing first. "If the woman emits her semen first she bears a male child; if the man emits his semen first she bears a female child." [Niddah 31a] It goes on to cite a rabbi by the name of Katina (3rd Century) who brags, "I could make all my children to be males."
Men should all strive to be more like Rabbi Katina.
To honor such men, I will be joining Golem this Saturday at Cameo for a special Hannukah show. I hope you can join us.
